Dear Big Daddy

Dear Big Daddy,
You're a man of the world. Who are the most romantic people in the Capitol,
Republicans or Democrats?

–Single & Matchless in Sacramento

Dear S&M,

First things first: You need to define your terms.

Why?

Because one person's definition of "romance" is another person's definition
of a "Date From Deliverance."

For example, are you more interested in candle and violins played over a bed
of lettuce in a restaurant where you can't see your food, much less the
scotch in your glass or the eyes of your date? Or does your idea of the
perfect romantic evening involve going to the State Fair and winding up
with–apologies to Chrissie Hynde–some young man pressing you up against the
back of a pick-up truck, out of sight of the neon and glare?

These are the kinds of questions Big Daddy needs answered before he can
provide you with the type of piercing insight you've come to expect from
this column.

Back in my day, lawmakers didn't have worry too much about defining romance
or fidgeting about whether our plans for the evening were romantic enough to
entice a young lady home for the evening