The enduring friendship between Toni Atkins and Shirley Weber

When former Senate pro Tem Toni Atkins (D-San Diego) launched her campaign for governor in early 2024, she had her friend of 20 years introduce her. That friend was Secretary of State Shirley Weber.

A born and raised Virginian, Atkins met Weber in San Diego after moving to the city and starting a job at a community clinic. At the time, Weber was the president of the San Diego Board of Education and had wowed Atkins with a speech she had given during a school luncheon.

“I was just blown away. I mean, she was powerful, she was inspirational,” Atkins said. “And so, that stayed with me.” Funnily enough, Weber said she doesn’t remember the speech she gave.

Years later, when they would meet again – both in different positions in their career – they would bond over a mutual love of soul food. Atkins, who hails from the South, asked Weber the best place to get some in San Diego.

Weber responded, “‘My house.’ But followed up with, ‘if you can’t come to my house, here’s a few other places,’” Atkins said. “And so, it became a friendship.”

This friendship initially consisted of sporadic calls here and there when advice was needed.

“But it really wasn’t until I decided to run for the Assembly, or I should say, she decided I was gonna run for the Assembly, that we really developed a strong relationship of trust,” Weber said.

After having just retired from a 40-year career as an Africana Studies professor at San Diego State University, Weber thought her future would consist of relaxing and taking frequent trips to Africa.

Atkins had other plans.

California in 2011 was still reeling from the Great Recession. This economic crisis resulted in the legislature planning on slashing education costs as a way to dig themselves out of their $25 billion deficit.

Though Weber had initially refused, not wanting to step into the chaos in the Capitol, it only took a little over a month for her to pick up the phone and call Atkins.

Toni and Shirley. Image courtesy of the Atkins for Governor campaign.

“‘You’re absolutely correct. I can’t just let this happen,’” Weber remembered saying during the call. “So I agreed to run and Toni said the magic words to me that have always stuck in my heart. She said, ‘and I will help you.’”

Atkins kept true to her word, always being there for Weber when she needed her.

A novice in the state political landscape, Atkins guided Weber through the ins and outs of the legislature, and in turn, Weber said Atkins knew if she was telling her something she could bank on it being true.

“I was always honest and direct with her, and she could count on my relationship,” Weber said.

Despite coming from different backgrounds, Weber and Atkins shared a commonality of understanding hardship and rising above the circumstances they were born in.

“She was from a family that had no running water and no flushing toilet, and I was born in a two room shack. I mean, we look different, but the reality is, our values, our families, the places that we came from, were very much alike and we respected that aspect of it,” Weber said.

Trust and similar values weren’t the only things that can be used to describe Atkins and Weber’s 20-year friendship. Weber was one of the only real friends Atkins had in the cutthroat world of politics.

Weber, who was raised in Los Angeles, had a strong family and church background, always being able to escape the chatter when needed and surround herself with people who saw her as just Shirley and not a powerful elected official.

Atkins, originally from another state, did not have that same luxury until her friendship with Weber. Throughout the years she became a staple guest at Weber’s holiday gatherings, and was eventually considered an aunt to Weber’s children.

“Very quickly, she became family for my sisters and brothers, and without anybody saying a word they were not going to just fix her a plate,” Weber said. Like any other family member Atkins had to fix her own plate if she wanted to eat.

“And so she and her partner appreciated the fact that they were just some folks coming to dinner, and everybody was happy to see them, hug them and carry on,” Weber said.

In reminiscing on their friendship, Weber and Atkins both call each other their mentor. Reciprocal mentoring is how Atkin’s wife, Jennifer, describes it.

Atkins recalled attending an event as Speaker years ago and hearing Weber name her as her mentor to a group of people.

“I didn’t hear anything after that because that just blew me away,” Atkins said. “I’m like, ‘Oh no, no, no, Shirley, you are my mentor.'”

Atkins said, “I share that story, because I realized at that moment that Shirley and I serve to be mentors to each other in different ways.

And when eventual hard times came in their demanding jobs, it never lasted long.

“She was from a family that had no running water and no flushing toilet, and I was born in a two room shack. I mean, we look different, but the reality is, our values, our families, the places that we came from, were very much alike and we respected that aspect of it.”

“We came from communities of hard times,” Weber said. “So when you come out of those communities, you have a resilience that other people look at and wonder, how can you stand in the middle of this storm?”

“And yet we did,” Weber said. “I was able to do it. She was able to do it. And when things were difficult, we could console each other.”

Twenty five years ago, having barely known each other, Atkins never thought their relationship would be what it is today, but she wanted it and she invested in it.

“She didn’t turn away. She responded, and I am forever grateful,” Atkins said. “It’s been one of the best things to come out of my political career.”

Weber had similar thoughts.

“The best way to find a friend is to be a friend and that’s what we did for each other. Without me knowing, she became my friend and I became her friend.”

Though retirement is still just a little out of reach for Weber, and with Atkins taking a backseat after leaving the race for the governor’s offce, they both look forward to spending time together and catching up over a meal.

“Preferably one that she cooks, because again, there’s no one that cooks quite like Shirley,” Atkins said.