Dear Big Daddy,

It seems like Jerry Brown has already been named our next governor. The election is, like, three years away. What gives?

–Premature Inauguration

Dear Moonbeam Madness,

Ah, lil' Jerry Brown. I remember years ago, visiting the governor's office and tousling the adorable tyke's head–back when he had hair.

Dear Big Daddy,

Luxury hotels and Louis Vuitton handbags? What was the speaker thinking?

–Labor Guy

Dear Rankled and Filed,

A few months ago, I brought up the idea of the Reporters in Peril (RIP) Act to protect our endangered newsies. I also suggested a clause barring papers from laying off their more petite reporters.

Dear Big Daddy,

You’re an old-fashioned guy. What do you think of Ann Coulter’s comment: “If we took away women’s right to vote, we’d never have to worry about another Democrat president”?

–Coulter Culture

Dear Susan B. Atrophy,

People have said a lot of mean, nasty, hurtful things to poor Annie Coulter over

Dear Big Daddy,

It looks pretty unlikely that we’re going to get any action on health care this year, but what about water? Do you think we’ll see a deal on the governor’s plan?

–Reservoir Doug

Dear RD,

When the governor announced a “special session on water,” I was worried. That’s what I

Dear Big Daddy,

The UC system has once again shown its true colors: Commie Red. You probably hate America so much you don’t understand that Erwin Chemerinsky belongs in prison, not running the UC Irvine Law School, you jerkface.

–AJ

Dear Mr. Congeniality,

They can’t get rid of Irwin! No, seriously, they can’t. He wrote

Dear Big Daddy,

I know we’re supposed to look forward to the end of session, but I feel, well, empty. All this rushing around, then it’s over. I find myself looking forward to January, and wishing I worked on water or health care. Have I been here too long? Is there something wrong with me?

When Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger signed the budget bill last month, he proposed “additional funding necessary to use contractual services for engineering, design, environmental studies and other work needed to ready projects for construction” of voter-approved Proposition 1B projects.

In other words, the governor favors public-private partnerships in lieu of expanding the state’s work force as

California’s recent budget battle did more than just heighten political friction. The two-month-long stalemate monopolized precious time needed to fix California’s desperately broken health-care system, which leaves millions of Californians uninsured–including over 760,000 children. Uninsured children often miss the preventive care that decreases health-care costs borne by the public over time.

Now, with just a

Dear Big Daddy,Why nothing about Senator Larry Craig? I know it’s national politics, but how can you resist weighing in on his “wide stance”?

–Idaho? No, Udaho

Dear Got that off a T-shirt,

Of all the things I’m proud of–creating our full-time Legislature, having a room in the Capitol named after me, affiliating

Dear Big Daddy,

To use the actions of a very few state workers to negatively stereotype the entire state workforce is wrong. For Capitol Weekly to do it is outrageous. You owe your readers an apology.

–J.J. Jelincicpresident, California State Employees Association

Dear J.J.,

It’s true, sometimes I go too far. Do I