Ask Big Daddy

Dear Big Daddy,

My husband is an avid Burning Man participant, but has not been able to fulfill his dreams for years because this infamous naked-loony-fest-in-the-desert is scheduled at the end of session–Labor Day to be exact. He is a prominent lobbyist who does most of his work through the “gut and amend” process, usually in the last week of session. He threatened to “throw it all away and just go.” But I know that if his boss found out he was riding a beach cruiser in a tutu, he would be a goner.

–Burning Man widow

Dear JanRonAmy (those are either guesses or someone’s real name in Utah),

We all know Big Daddy was (and thus, for the purposes of this column, is) a partisan Democrat. As such, I’m used to social-conservative Republicans putting forth some ideas that sound pretty crazy to me. Global warming is a cover story to switch everyone to a homo-socialist soy-quiche-based diet