Ask Big Daddy

Dear Big Daddy,

I don't know how you've resisted, but the spay-neuter bill has been in the news for months and you haven't written about it. Now that it looks dead, will you break your silence?

–LOLcat

Dear Furpop,

The editors at Capitol Weekly have seen fit to inform me that one of their esteemed readers has judged Big Daddy to be "crass." Apparently I frequently "cross the line." Cross the Line was actually going to be the name of my biopic. John Candy was going to play me, which gives you a idea of how long that project has been on the shelf.

You might want to glance over at that headline that reads "Ask Big Daddy," not "Mr. Rogers Feels Accommodating." Now that would be about as exciting as sitting through a hearing of the Assembly Legalese & Obscure Clause Committee. Though a passive-aggressive Mr. Rogers certainly has potential.

I also figured my audience had built up enough political scar tissue to take a joke. Remember that old quote about the manufacture and concealment of sausages? There's a reason that was used to describe "the making of laws" and not a friendlier pursuit such as, say, hockey. More to the point, I was crass. I used–and practiced–the F word.

Nevertheless, good sir or madam, I take up your challenge. I will now attempt to talk about the dog balls bill without being "crass."

Assemblyman Lloyd Levine has a problem. He's running for Senate next year against Fran Pavley, a woman whose name is now synonymous with a bill, AB 32. Never mind that she was just taking credit for the speaker's legislation.
Now Levine's name is synonymous with AB 1634