Big Daddy

Ask Big Daddy

Dear Big Daddy,

As a Republican, I was very worried when I heard that Governor Schwarzenegger had broken his leg. It’s not like he does great things for us, but his veto pen keeps a lot of bad things from happening. And then there’s how he broke his leg. Breaking his femur by falling over while just standing on his skis? I’ve heard steroids can do some things to your bits (and believe me, every time he appeases the Dems, the cojones jokes come out), but do they make your bones brittle? Are we going to end up with a governor puddle?

–A Leg to Stand On

Dear Leg,

If you want to make a comment to the Guv about steroids and almonds, you go ahead. I’m afraid to–and I’m already dead. Did you see his biceps in those hospital pictures his office sent out? Not even with a head start and him on crutches.

As for the rest of him, well, that’s a matter of legitimate public interest. The increasingly bionic nature of the Governator has been widely noted (and all those T-shirts you see in the airport aside, there really is a correct spelling for “Governator”). The pig valve in his heart, the titanium hips, the hydrogen fuel cell that powers him

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