Dear Big Daddy

Hey Big Daddy,

I am a young, upwardly mobile woman working in the Capitol. I am involved
with two men. One is older, not good looking and flat lines in the sack,
but he could be a good ticket to better future employment. The other is a
staffer like me who is a hunk and floats my boat in the bedroom. Both have
asked me to the same “must attend” holiday function. Should I go for the
career move or have a very jolly Christmas?
– Confused in the Capitol

Hey, Confused-

The work holiday party is exactly that, and in exactly that order. First
itt’s work. Then it’s a holiday. Then it’s a party.

Despite the open bar and the frosted cookies, let us not forget why you’re
there. Big Daddy is quite familiar with upwardly mobile young women, and he
offers this reminder: No party that you would voluntarily attend would
include the lecherous nose picker from down the hall dwelling by the cheese
tray. Any time you’re at a “party” where all the men are wearing ties,
someone’s either been married or buried, or your boss is in the room.
Booze can make a bad party palatable, but you are not there because you want
to be. You’re there because you have to be. And though you may have
fantasies of absconding away to the Vagabond Inn with your boy toy, you’re
in this thing for the long hall. Drink your punch, make your small talk, and
keep that unattractive, successful man close at hand.

You might not get a rise out of the geezer–but isn’t a raise better?

So, as for the RSVP, yours is really a non-issue. You’ve really got no other
option but to bring your own cold fish to the fete. There will be time for
Casanova after Christmas. You may want to want to put the ho back in
holidays, but ’tis the season to suck it up and do what’s best for your
career.