Ask Big Daddy

Dear Big Daddy,

What is it with young female legislators these days? Making a spectacle of themselves, going out dancing and drinking with staffers? Is this what the struggle for equality got us–the era of the political sports bra? Did the mothers march so their daughters could behave as irresponsibly as men?

–Feminist prude

Dear Prudence,

Wasn’t that the idea? What else did you want–heart attacks and child-support payments?

There’s that old joke about what you call a woman with the morals of a man. Just be glad none of the young ladies of the Legislature have the morals of Big Daddy. If they did, Republicans would be sponsoring a $3 billion infrastructure bond to repair our society’s moral fabric (please, no one get any ideas).

In my day, women were virgins or that other thing–and no more six or eight votes in the Assembly. The closest we usually got to a scandalous female was Assemblywoman Jean Moorhead sharing a name with a former Playboy
centerfold. That is, before she got married and changed it. Woo-hoo.

You know, England is suffering the same “problem.” They even have a word for it: “laddettes.” That is, ladies who act like lads, drinking, smoking and sleeping around. In related news, Big Daddy is suffering from a dead problem, because that sounds like something I’d like to be around for.

Term limits have led to younger legislators and a blurring line between members and staff. It might be inappropriate for young legislators to go out drinking with staffers–but is it any more appropriate to expect them to limit their social lives to tea with Mervyn and Nell? Great legislators both, but we’re talk-talk-talking about my generation. You know, the one that was already hitting middle age when that song came out.

What are the charges here? Acting a little princessy during hearings and horsing around with some co-workers their own age? Call me when you’ve got stolen farm animals and a tub full of grape Jell-o.

And considering that any female Democrat who isn’t married by her 21st birthday gets labeled a lesbian (a potent electoral ploy in some rural districts), its understandable that these young legislators might want to blow off some steam and dispel a few rumors at the same time. I got called a feminist about as often as I got called Gladys, but I say let the girls have their fun.

If voters think there’s a problem, they can vote out these laddettes. But you may run into an opposite-sex version of the “Bill Clinton effect.” That is, in the privacy of the voting booth, a lot of people like politicians who have a lust for life–even if they’re ladies.