Big Daddy

Hey Big Daddy,

Hey Davis,
Asking if a political pro like John Burton is up to the job of party chairman is like asking if Barry Bonds is up for little league pitching. In fact, little league might be a perfect analogy for the journey the senator is about to embark upon.

Remember back when you were a kid, and whether you were a good American and played baseball, or some kind of pseudo-Euro commie bastard and played soccer, there was always that one parent. You know, the one who thought his kid should play every inning, or every minute. The one who yelled at the coaches and challenged the umpires to fist fights. Well, all of those people went on to become party activists.

The job of party chairman is part babysitter and part money launderer. With campaign finance limits being what they are, the entire system is geared to move money through the political parties. It’s the party chairman’s job to make sure that everyone has their pot of money lined up, and that all the juice moves where it’s supposed to.

John Burton gets this. Hell, he’s the guy who wrote the ballot initiative that turned the state parties into Laundromats for political cash.
Which reminds me. I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw that the state Republican Party had voted at their convention not to fund the reelection campaigns for the six Republicans who voted for the budget. Never mind that there’s only one such Republican running for reelection. The idea that the Republican Party is in the position to fund anything is laughable.

Do these guys read their own bank statements? The reality is, the Republican Party is a shell corporation. When they choose, folks like Arnold Schwarzenegger and the Chamber of Commerce can move funds through the party, sprinkling crumbs in their wake. But really, if you’ve gotta host a fundraiser, do you want Arnold Schwarzenegger or Ron Nehring as your headliner?

But we all know that the money that the parties have doesn’t really belong to the parties. Sure, there was a big hue and cry when Fabian Nunez got a $4 million refund from the party a couple of years back. But what was the stink about? Nunez raised that money. It was his. This idea that it belongs to the caucus or the party is ridiculous. Nunez stole that money the same way you steal your salary every first and fifteenth, even though you spend your entire day updating your Facebook status, and checking out your NCAA bracket.

It’s officially time for all of you to get over it.

The “party” is just a P.O Box shy of a shell corporation in the Cayman Islands. It’s like -1 or your happy childhood – when you really stop to think about it, it doesn’t even exist.

So, is John Burton up for the task? That’s really not the question you should be asking, Davis. You should be asking if the party is ready for John Burton.